As the end of my junior years looms just around the corner, the all-too-threatening decisions about college become more and more apparent. High school and everything before it is easy. Everyone makes your decisions for you: where to go, what to eat, who to be, how to dress, just about everything is predetermined until you’re thrown into the “real world.” Now, you have to decide everything all at once. College is the open door to the rest of your life, terrifying or invigorating, it will not go away and it will not wait.

I’ve taken my ACT and my SAT, I’ve taken AP courses and courses from my local community college, yet I find myself having no idea what I want to do, where I want to go, or really anything for that matter.

As nearly every eager high schooler does, I want to go out of state for university.

In and of itself, out of state tuition is expensive in America. Now account for the fact that I’m a (wait for it…) triplet, and there are three college tuitions at once.

For years, my absolute dream schools were Barnard, Columbia, and NYU. Flashback to just a few months ago and the reality of money slapped me in the face as I realized that it would be painful to afford any of these colleges, as well as the graduate school that surely ensues. Back to the present and I’m considering going out of state on the WUE (Western Undergraduate Exchange) program. This offers me so many opportunities in my education and in life in general. I’ve scored well on all my tests, well enough to qualify for the WUE, which also provides new opportunities to me.

There is always the fear, however, of actually growing up. I shudder as I type this, having to face the reality of entering the world on my own, not living at home, paying for everything myself, being an actual grown up. As silly as it all may sound, being thrown from living on a set path to blindly entering the adult world is completely terrifying.

I have time and I know that I will figure it out, and I cannot wait to be independent, despite dwelling on the fear that comes with such independence. The ability to be my own person, entirely uncensored, and study what I choose and do as I please will be truly rewarding and is extremely enticing.

A year from now I will (hopefully) have some more figured out as I plan my graduation party, which is crazy to even think about. Time really does fly.

To the moon and back,


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